My Selfish Song
by Shadows In My Love
Summary: Once upon a time, there lived this guy named Valentine. Just a regular guy. But then the ghost Raven enters his life...
1. Dead to whe World

My Selfish Song

Dead to the world. Alive for the journey.

He didn't care if IT did the puppy-dog look. Or the biting on the lip again. Or that self-conscious blush that always managed to turn valentine indisputably on… He just didn't fucking care. Not at all. 

Now IT was trying to talk to him. That THING really had some nerves!

"Piss off Raven! Just get lost at the back of my head or something…"

__

Why should I when I know you don't want me to, valentine? Why don't you just pay me a visit…? You know exactly were I am…

The thing batted it's long eyelashes at him, it's grey eyes still wide with innocent fear as they naively slid down the boy's chest.

"Yeah, you think you're so clever, Raven? Why the heck would I want to visit a pointy-faced bastard like you anyway?"

__

You're still the one who took my life away. And maybe that was because you can't live without me?..

"Shit."

__

Admitting it now, are we? 

"No! You're barking, you are! Like I'd want you around…!"

__

Is that why you're thinking of me all the time?

"Bugger. How did that happen…?"

__

Pervert.

"Conniving Bastard."

__

Schizophrenic arsehole. 

"…Listen. Just… just naff off, ghost…"

__

Why don't you come to me, Valentine? I'm not far and I know you want to, you perverted little baby…I'm right here waiting for you, boy. Right fucking here… 

Right, this was definitely going too far. Why was his mind turning against him like this? Valentine had always treated it well. What had the black haired boy ever done to it except let it doze off while he muted out lectures for school? Valentine squeezed his eyes so tightly that he could see greenish patterns dancing on the inside of his eyelids.

__

Valentine…?

"Lalala… I'm not listening to you…"

Ultimately, while ignoring Raven and his stupid innuendos, he found a suitable enough distraction in the wardrobe at the far end of the room; its door tantalisingly open. 

Leaving a half-open closet lying around VALENTINE was never a good thing TO DO, and especially when HE were trying to run away from the taunts FROM HIS imaginary GHOST… unless you want them to go through your stuff. 

Too closed to see any of its possessions and yet open enough to TICKLE one's curiosity… Man, it was too good to be true. valentine grinned nervously.

"wicked. A distraction… Eat that, you STUPID git."

__

Wow, a wardrobe. Nice to see your small mind can deal with it, POOR BOY.

"Still can't hear you…"

__

Ah.. It looks like your ears have finally joined the rest of your pathetic body parts

"GO BACK TO YOUR FUCKING GRAVE, YOU FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A GHOST!!"

He turned around abruptly and went back to his "magical art" homework. 

That didn't work out the way he wanted it to work out. He still saw the ghost, sitting in the corner, eyeing at him with it's silver, ice-flecked eyes that narrowed and gleamed maliciously when he was pissed off and that infuriatingly gorgeous smirk he always wore…

"Raven?" He was looking for some witty rejoinders, but all he could come up with was:

"You still there?"

__

Just piss off, Valentine. I'm not in the mood for you, your bloody sickening heroic cheer or your fucking charity. Besides…" The ghost sneered contemptuously, eying Valentine's worn out clothes.

…You can barely afford to dish it out. Still stealing your outfits from children, I see.

The good-natured and almost goofy grin disappeared from Valentine's face instantly. Raven could see the gradual rush of blood underneath his skin, shocked hurt soon turning to anger as Valentine self-consciously tugged down at the sleeves of his short sweater. Raven's shrewd eyes easily caught the quick flash of hurt in it's victim's eye. 

Good. 

Raven wanted him to hurt. It wanted him to crawl up into a little ball and cry until his sobs made him swallow his tongue. It wanted to make Valentine Graham miserable. It wanted to feel the power it had over him.

__

Going to cry, Valentine? Going to run off to mummy and tell her what the Big Bad bogeyman did?

Ah. The trembling fists by Valentine's sides. The lava red face. The bent legs looking ready for a 

good pounce. He really was so predictable.

Well, Raven supposed it should just get the boy to breaking point. After all, it was the least it could do… With a toss of it's vague silver head, it smiled malevolently. 

__

Not going to answer back, Valentine of mine? Not going to throw a punch? It looks like you actually agree with me…

The Ghost smirked even more infuriatingly. 

__

Dumb little Valentine… who the fuck would miss you if you died right this second?

Now Valentine was shaking with fury, his teeth practically chattering. Oooooh, he was really pissed off. Fucking git. Raven had known that it'd hit a weak spot as soon as it said it. And although it very much enjoyed stabbing repeatedly at that spot once it found it on someone, the nightcrawler just didn't get it. Valentine… crying? It wanted to snort with laughter. Please, it's little dark boy was so much better that it was ridiculous. But why did the freak fucking insist on believing that the ghost was some sweet, misunderstood little Casper-phantom? Why did he stupidly lead himself into a false sense of security with a ghost who just didn't give a damn about anyone or anything? It was pathetic. And Raven hated that it'd very nearly apologised for the remark. Instead of displaying the moment of weakness, it fashioned it's most perfected smirk. Valentine shook his head in stiff disbelief as his strained, angry voice trembled in slight… was it fear?

"You're just saying that. You don't mean it."

His eyes suddenly glittered painfully bright as he sighed deeply and almost mischievously.

__

Really?

"Just go fuck yourself, Raven."

Valentine stumbled clumsily up the stairs, having no idea how he'd actually managed to get to the top as he continued to quicken. His eyes began to prick irritably again as he swiped viciously at them with the back of his clenched hand. 

No. He wouldn't let this happen. He wouldn't let a stupid ghost get to him. 

He gritted his teeth so painfully he was almost sure he could taste blood seeping from his gums. 

He wouldn't cry. He couldn't… he wouldn't ever let Raven make him cry. He would never let the bastard have the satisfaction of breaking him.

__

Oh my. Big, pissed off Valentine going to start bawling? 

"FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK OFF!!!! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!"

__

Ok… ok! Jesus! Only kidding, you sick fuck. I'm going now. Fucking Weirdo…

He continued to thunder through the streets, long after the voices had disappeared. Through his furious rage though, Valentine still managed to wryly think that he should have threatened the voice with decapitation a long time ago. But now he was too busy walking to God knows where to concentrate on anything. He needed to exercise this anger out of him before he hurt someone. He needed to run. 

And so he did.


	2. Alive for the Journey

"You alright, Valentine?" Sioux looked at him with worry.

"No." he hissed through gritted teeth as he rubbed his fingertips across his sore temples. "I know it sounds crazy, but I'm being haunted by some freaking ghost for the last year."

He snapped his eyes open to look the young girl insolently in the eye. 

Sioux smirked dryly. "Not funny, Valentine."

"But It's no joke! His name is Raven and he keeps pestering me!"

He saw Sioux narrow her eyes at him. "Raven?"

"Yes."

Sioux pursed her lips, sighing, shaking her head and seeming quite resigned when she suddenly bit:

"RAVEN! What does he look like? !"

Shocked, Valentine did a step backwards. "Ehm… cold feline grey eyes, slit in pure venom. Silver, greased back hair. Dressed impressively in dark green robes, silver cuffs dazzling at his sleeve sides and a silver Venomous Snake Fang hanging off a simple black shoelace string tight around his neck."

"And his voice…?"

"Silky soft and dangerous."

He looked a Sioux's paled face for answers. "What's with the bastard?"

"It's him." Sioux managed to say.

"Him?"

She turned around on her heels to face Valentine.

"It's Vincent."

"You can drop fucking dead, for all I fucking care, you… you… FUCK!!"

__

Overusing a certain word, aren't we, my dear Valentine?

"Just fuck off!"

__

Who's the cutie you brought with you, my lil' closet fagot?  
Sioux looked anxiously around in the darkish room. "What does he say, Valentine?"

"HE wants to know who you are."

She looked directly in the direction where Raven was, although she could not see him.

"My name is Sioux. And I think you know damn well who I am. Vincent."

She suddenly felt a blaze of coldness coming from the corner of the room.

And when she listened very carefully, she could hear a faint voice, screaming:

__

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL HER, VALENTINE? !! HOW DOES SHE KNOW MY NAME? !!!


End file.
